


the stars in your eyes

by aseroxyc



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drinking, Fluff, Getting Back Together, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, Idk where I got the idea for this, It's Soft, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Minsung are cute, Reunions, Seungmin is an amazing friend, Smoking, They are all over twenty here, Yang Jeongin | I.N is Whipped, and changlix, and hyunin, and seungmin too, but anyways, jeongin and jisung are brothers, minho and hyunjin are cousins, so are woochan, these tags are a mess, woominchan are parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 04:31:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17912069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aseroxyc/pseuds/aseroxyc
Summary: At the age of seventeen, Jeongin falls in love with Hyunjin while visiting his relatives in America. However, they decide to end their relationship when Jeongin has to return to Korea. Now, three years later, Jeongin doesn't expect to see Hyunjin again, especially at the birthday party of his brother's husband.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh okayyyyyy sooo  
> I decided to start writing something a little longer than my past fics  
> I don't even know if I will finish it at all because I kind of have this habit of abandoning long chaptered fics after a while BUT I promise I'll try to update this as often as I can! ^^  
> I'm sorry for all the grammatical mistakes you may find, It's 1am and I'm barely awake rn lmao

"So... I guess this is it?" Hyunjin laughs and scratches the back of his head.

The airport is full of people and Jeongin feels like he is being suffocated. Hyunjin has a smile on his face, but the smile is so full of sadness and bitterness that it doesn't make Jeongin as happy as it used to.

He sighs shakily and nods, feeling tears burn up in his eyes. "Yeah. This is it."

They are in silence after that, just staring at each other and taking in every single detail they can because this is the last time they will see each other again, the last time they can touch and talk to each other.

"I really wish you'd stay," Hyunjin whispers, finally tearing his gaze away and lowering it to his old, black Converse shoes like they are the most interesting thing in the world.

"Me too," Jeongin says quietly and Hyunjin looks up at him, hope sparkling in his eyes and Jeongin wants to cry, because he knows it'll be gone in a second. "But I can't. We talked about this, Hyunjin. I can't leave my family."

And just like Jeongin expected, the sparkle disappears from Hyunjin's beautiful eyes and it is soon replaced by tears that the older tried so hard to hold back.

"I know, I know. I just.... Fuck, I don't even know." A laugh leaves Hyunjin's lips and it sounds so broken and lost and sad. Tears start flowing down Hyunjin's cheeks and Jeongin's heart shatters even more at the sight of his tears and then he is crying as well.

"You know, sometimes I... Sometimes I hoped that you would choose me over your family and then I wouldn't have to say goodbye to you and watch you leave. I know it's stupid and selfish but that's what I imagined every time I remembered that you would eventually leave me and return to Korea," Hyunjin says and his voice cracks at some point and it feels so, so terrible and for a second Jeongin actually considers abandoning his family and staying in America with Hyunjin.

"I'm sorry, Hyunjin," Jeongin whimpers and then _finally_ Hyunjin wraps his arms around the smaller male. "Don't be sorry, love. You've got nothing to be sorry about."

Jeongin sobs and hugs Hyunjin tightly. He hides his face in the crook of his neck and breathes in his comforting and familiar scent. "I love you."

Hyunjin lets out a noise and somehow Jeongin can't even tell if it's a sob or a laugh, probably something in between. "I love you too. Oh my god, why are you making this so much harder than it already is?" He chokes out before pulling back a little, only to cradle Jeongin's face with his hands and kiss him on the lips.

Jeongin's arms fly up to wrap themselves around Hyunjin and he pressed himself closer to the older male. The whole kiss is a mess, they are both crying, Hyunjin's fingers tangle themselves to Jeongin's hair and Jeongin hangs onto Hyunjin's shirt for dear life.

The announcement starts way too soon, the time for Jeongin to leave comes way too soon. They pull away from each other with reluctance. Jeongin's hands let go of Hyunjin, and the latter's fingers leave the younger's hair and slowly fall to his side.

Jeongin feels nauseous. He doesn't want to leave. He doesn't want to, he can't, yet still he has to and he will never see Hyunjin again, except in that small polaroid of the two of them, the only concrete memory he will have from this summer, from _Hyunjin_. And it's so unfair and Jeongin just wants to scream and turn back time so he could either have more time with Hyunjin or stop himself from ever meeting him in that stupid clothing store.

"I'll miss you," Hyunjin whispers and Jeongin can do nothing but stare at him, his eyes full of sadness, love, desperation, anger, all of it. "I'll miss you too."

Jeongin breathes out shakily and grabs the suitcase sitting next to him. Then he turns his back, just like that, and walks away. He doesn't look back, he forces himself to look in front of him, because he knows that if he sees Hyunjin now, he won't be able to leave. He covers his mouth with his hand to stop himself from sobbing. The tears are blurring his sight, but he doesn't stop walking. 

Hyunjin gasps when the crowd swallows Jeongin, the boy that became his life in just two months.

_Run after him. Tell him that you love him, tell him that you can't live without him, tell him that you need him to stay._

Hyunjin bites his lip and tears flow down his cheeks. He turns on his heels and walks out of the airport, heading towards his car with heavy steps.

He leans against it and waits until he finally sees the plane fly up in the air, taking Hyunjin's heart with it.


	2. one

"Jeongin, drag your ass over here at this instant!"

Jeongin groans as he lets the book he was reading fall next to him to the couch. He slowly pulls himself up from the leather couch, walking into the kitchen with heavy steps where Jisung, Chan and Woojin are working in a quick pace, Jisung and Chan decorating the cake(and almost bumping into each other when they try to circle around the table) and Woojin wiping the counters clean.

"What?"

"We need some help, the first guests will be here soon and the place looks like this," Jisung wails and throws his arms up dramatically, causing the spoon he had in his hand to fly to the floor, which results in Woojin yelping in bewilderment and Chan nearly hitting Jisung in the face while turning around to check if his boyfriend is fine. "Jisung, watch it!" 

"Oh, for god's sake," Jeongin mutters, rubbing his face. "Why didn't you start earlier? Besides, it's going to look like a mess anyway in an hour already! And it's not even that bad."

"Not that bad? Not that bad!? It looks like a junkyard! It has to be perfect for Minho!" Chan covers his other ear and closes his eyes as Jisung frantically gestures with his hands and continues yelling. "He will be here in... Thirty minutes! Thirty minutes, and he will see this! And the guests are arriving soon! That's it, this whole surprise party is ruined!"

Jeongin and Chan exchange confused but tired glances and Woojin pats Jisung's shoulder. "Hyung, it's just a birthday. It's not a big deal, you dummy. Besides, since when has Minho even liked surprise parties?" Jeongin mumbles, crossing his arms.

"He doesn't! And that's why everything has to be perfect! His cousin from America is coming as well, that's why this is a big deal! It's a surprise for him, and that's why I am throwing this party! God, haven't you been listening!?"

Jeongin awkwardly leans against the doorframe, deciding that he probably shouldn't tell Jisung that he hasn't, in fact, listened at all. He had no idea that Minho even had a cousin that lives in America, or a cousin in general. "Okay, fine, fine! What do you want me to do?"

"Just tidy up the house, okay? We will do the work in the kitchen," Chan says with an awkward smile as he grabs Jisung's shoulders and turns him around so the younger is facing the cake again. "Gosh, you are such a drama queen sometimes Jisungie. You've been with Minho for too long."

Jeongin shakes his head and he returns to the living room. Jisung was definitely worrying over nothing. The house is absolutely clean.

In the end, Jeongin just straightens the pillows on the couch and organizes the bookshelf slightly(only because he doesn't have anything else to do and Jisung would kill him if Jeongin told him that). The red-haired male sighs and grabs the book he was reading earlier and returns to his own room.

He places the book in the shelf and sits down on his own, made up bed, staring out of the window.

" _His cousin from America is coming as well, that's why this is a big deal!_ "

America. Jeongin hasn't thought about that in a while. He sighs softly, his gaze moving from the window to the nightstand, and the small, locked drawer in the side of it. He slowly gets up from the bed and walks over to the shelf, grabbing an old jewelry box and opening it. There is a small key sitting there, and Jeongin returns to the bed and sits back down.

The jewelry box was originally for the necklace his grandmother gave him when he turned eighteen. But as he started wearing it all the time around his neck, he decided to keep the key to the drawer there. And the drawer is the place where he keeps his most important memories, as he knows that's the only place safe from Jisung's curiosity. 

He takes a deep breath and he unlocks the drawer, opening it carefully.

A slight smile finds it's way to his lips. There are quite a few things; the first ones being an old leather collar and a red rubber ball. They belonged to his dog that Jeongin had when he was just a kid. He died the year Jeongin turned twelve.

There is a small, bright-colored bracelet which has the letters S, J and F hanging on it, as well as a small, golden heart. His, Seungmin and Felix's friendship bracelet. The three boys weren't even at school when they made the bracelets with Jeongin's mother's help when the two older boys were sleeping over at their house. All three of them now have an updated version around their wrists as the first ones became too small for them to wear anymore. 

The third one is a framed photograph. Jeongin blinks, the smile he had on his lips before fading slowly. In the picture, there are four people. A beautiful, smiling woman holding a baby in her arms, and a smiling man with a laughing boy sitting on his shoulders. Jeongin takes a deep breath, slowly taking it in his hands and lifting it up from the drawer, already knowing what's underneath it.

As soon as he sets the picture on top of the nightstand, his eyes land on a polaroid and he swallows, tears swelling in his eyes now.

He carefully picks it up in his hands and stares at it. He doesn't know how long it has been since he has looked at the polaroid or even dug it out from the bottom of the drawer.

It honeslty looks like a scene from a romantic movie. They are sitting on the edge of a fountain, and they are holding hands. Hyunjin is placing a kiss on Jeongin's cheek and Jeongin is laughing with a wide smile.

He remembers that whole day. It was one of the best he spent with Hyunjin.

Jeongin was asleep when Hyunjin called him before the sun was up. " _Innie, come to the field. I wanna watch the sunrise with you,_ " Hyunjin said and the younger barely had time to open his mouth when Hyunjin already hung up.

And who was Jeongin to protest? He told his aunt that he will go shopping and headed straight towards the field, and they watched the sunrise together just like Hyunjin wanted.

Then Hyunjin took him to the centre, and they just walked for the whole day, bought ice cream, shopped and all that. Then they asked a young woman to take a photo of them, and that's where the polaroid is from.

In the evening, when the sun had almost set, Hyunjin lead him to the beach and they sat down, watching as the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Hyunjin was leaning against a large rock, his arms around Jeongin as the younger rested his head against his shoulder. They didn't say anything for an hour. But then the stars started shining and they both stared at them in awe.

" _Innie, do you know what that constellation is?_ "

" _No. Do you?_ "

" _Nope. That's why I asked you._ " 

They sat in silence again after that, and suddenly Jeongin heard Hyunjin sniffle and the older brought his hand to his face. Jeongin pulled away from his and he felt his heart jump when he saw that Hyunjin was actually crying. " _Jinnie? What is it?_ "

Hyunjin just smiled at him and intertwined his fingers with Jeongin's, tears still flowing down his face. " _I.... I think I'm in love with you._ "

Jeongin sighs and shoves the polaroid and the framed picture back into the drawer. He quickly closes the drawer and locks it, putting the key back, and just in time. Jisung bursts through the door with wide eyes and he grabs Jeongin's shoulders, shaking him. "His cousin and Felix and Changbin are here, hurry up and get yourself ready, because you won't be looking like that in Minho's birthday party!" 

"Okay, okay! Go so I can change my clothes!"

Jisung takes a deep breath, as if to calm himself down and he hurries out of the room. 


	3. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeongin and Hyunjin meet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ I'm sorry for the inactivity, it's been like... What? A months since I've written anything haha  
> It's been hard for me to find inspiration lately to write, and since the school is ending in a few months, I have a lot of work to do so I'll be more inactive until June!   
> Well, here's the second chapter~ I'm not really satisfied with this but I felt like I needed to post something for you guys hihi

Jeongin hurries down the stairs, fixing his hair as  he heads towards the kitchen. The cake is finally decorated and sitting neatly on the table, and Woojin is cleaning the kitchen. "Hyung, where are the others?"

Woojin turns around and smiles. "They are in the living room." Jeongin nods and tilts his head. "Do you need help with the kitchen, or....?"

"No, it's fine. Hyunjin probably has a few bags with him, you can go and help him."

Jeongin nods and is already making his way out of the kitchen when he stops in his tracks, turning around so quickly that he nearly falls. Did he just hear right? "Wait. Hyunjin?"

Woojin tilts his head. "Yeah. Minho's cousin, remember? Hey, Innie, are you okay? You turned a bit pale."

Jeongin's mouth opens and closes repeatedly, but he doesn't let out a sound. Minho's cousin is named Hyunjin. And that Hyunjin just happens to live in America. _Oh god, please, let it be just a coincidence._

"Hey, Innie! We need a little help here," Jisung's voice calls from the living room. "Hey, Jeongin. Are you seriously okay? Do you feel sick?" Jeongin finally wakes up from his thoughts when he feels Woojin's hand on his forehead. The older is frowning when he pulls his hand away. "You're not that warm."

"I-I'm okay," Jeongin says and he curses himself, because he sounds really pathetic and not convincing at all.

"Innie!"  
"Yeah, I'm coming!"

It's definitely not a coincidence. Because the man in the living room, holding a bag and staring at Jeongin as if the latter is some kind of a ghost looks too much like Hyunjin. His Hyunjin.

Jeongin freezes completely. His brain stops working, as well as his heart _and_ his breathing.

"Finally! Don't just stare, Minho will be here any minute now! Take the bags in Jeongin's room! Hurry up! And don't come down until Felix comes to get you, alright?"

Before Jeongin even knows it, Jisung is shoving a bag into his hand and Hyunjin and Jeongin are pushed towards the stairs.

Jeongin doesn't look at the older man when he hurries up the stairs into his own room. He hears Hyunjin following him. He feels dizzy. His head is spinning, and he actually feels a little sick. This is not really happening. It can't be.

He sets the bag down on the floor and he hears Hyunjin do the same before closing the door.

It's quiet after that. Jeongin turns around to face Hyunjin, his heart does a flip in his chest, and his stomach turns upside down. Hyunjin is still staring at him. His eyes are wide, and full of emotions. Jeongin sees unshed tears in his eyes, and it doesn't take long for him to start tearing up as well.

"Jeongin....."

It's barely a whisper, and for a moment Jeongin wonders if he just imagined it.

"Jeongin, I-"

Hyunjin's sentence is interrupted by Felix storming into the room and grabbing their hands with an excited smile. "Minho is here, let's go!"

Jeongin's brain doesn't even register how Felix drags them down the stairs and Hyunjin frantically tries to protest, but Felix doesn't seem to notice how panicked the older is. Jeongin's brain doesn't register how the door opens and they all (except for Hyunjin and Jeongin, the both of them still too shocked) yell birthday congratulations to Minho, who looks absolutely terrified, his hate for surprises clearly written on his face.

But then he sees Hyunjin, and he screams. That's probably the first time Jeongin has ever heard Minho scream out of joy. Of course, he has heard him scream countless of times when watching horror movies, or when Jisung has surprised him with tickling.

"Jinnie! What are you doing here!? Oh my god, why didn't you tell me you were coming, you idiot!"

Hyunjin just laughs, finally seeming to understand what's going on around him as he hugs Minho tightly. "Well, it was a surprise," he says, and Minho pouts. "But you know I hate them."

Jeongin just watches, letting the thought of Hyunjin being right there, standing in his living room, set in.

"Hey Jeongin, are you okay? You look funny," Seungmin says as he walks up to the younger and Jeongin glances at his best friend. "I look funny? Have you seen yourself?"

"Now that hurt. No, but seriously. You look like you've seen a ghost," Seungmin says and he pushes a drink to Jeongin's hand, staring at the younger boy and waiting for him to spill out his emotions.

Jeongin doesn't tear his gaze away from Hyunjin as he takes the glass with a small _thanks._ Seungmin blinks before following his gaze. The older stares at Hyunjin for a moment before raising his eyebrows. "Why are you staring at Hyunjin like that? He isn't some kind of a murderer, is he?"

Jeongin finally looks at Seungmin, furrowing his eyebrows. "What?"

"I said; why are you staring at Hyunjin?"  
"I'm not."  
"Yes, you are. Spill it. I've known you for too long, you can’t fool me."  
"You know what, I need to go to the bathroom."  
"Jeongin!"

Jeongin sets the drink down on the coffee table and leaves the room, his feet stomping against the floor. He can almost literally feel two pairs of eyes burning a hole into the back of his head.


	4. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunjin and Jeongin have a talk and Hyunjin notices something isn't right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished a very big project for school today and I thought I could finally relax a little and write something for you guys~ Enjoy!

It's 10pm already and Hyunjin hasn't seen Jeongin for hours. It can't be even possible for someone to hide themselves that well in a house so small.

He needs to talk to Jeongin. The younger disappeared almost immediately when Minho arrived.

When Jisung first mentioned that he has a little brother named Jeongin, he didn't think much of it. It only brought back some memories, but he seriously didn't imagine that it could be _his_ Jeongin. And when he heard Jeongin's oh so beautiful voice coming from the kitchen, that was the first time his heart stopped. But still, he doubted it. Maybe the name Jeongin just messed up his head and somehow made it sound like him.

But no. The read-haired boy that appeared into the living room, his eyes wide and his fingers shaking as their gazes met, was definitely Yang Jeongin. Hyunjin couldn't doubt it anymore. The same, beautiful eyes. Hyunjin would never in his life forget those eyes.

"Hyunjin hyung!"

The said male freezes and turns around. Seungmin is pushing his way through the people dancing and having fun, his brows furrowed and Hyunjin can't help but notice the small anger on the other male's face.

"Do you know where Jeongin is?" Seungmin asks, his voice stern. Hyunjin flinches a little. Why does this man seem like he is ready to kill him any second now? Hyunjin has literally never even talked to him properly.

"No. How would I know?"  
"Oh, don't play stupid with me, Jeongin tried that already. He has been hiding for hours now, and I'm very sure it has got something to do with you."

Hyunjin opens his mouth to speak but he closes it again, taken aback by the younger man.

"Fine, whatever. Tell me if you see him, I wanna talk to my best friend." With that, Seungmin walks away, leaving Hyunjin leaning alone against the living room wall.

That's it, he needs to find Jeongin. But the idea of sniffing around in someone else's house is not really tempting. But screw that.

Turns out, finding the younger happens by accident. Hyunjin is about to enter the bathroom when the door flies open, nearly hitting Hyunjin square in the face. "Hey, watch it-"

"H-hyung?"

Hyunjin blinks when his eyes meet Jeongin's. He gasps loudly, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. He doesn't know if it's from the embarrassment because he snapped at the younger, of if it's from the fact that _they are standing way too close to each other._

Hell, Hyunjin has no idea what to do or say, so he just nods dumbly, his eyes wide. Jeongin blinks, and they just stand there awkwardly, staring at each other.

Hyunjin should say something. But what on earth should he say? _Hey, I'm still hopelessly in love with you and I've missed you so much it hurts. Please kiss me._ That's what he wants to say, but he knows that it would be way too much for Jeongin to handle.

Instead, Hyunjin chokes out a dull _we need to talk._

Hyunjin notices Jeongin swallowing hard when he nods. The younger just turns around and heads towards the stairs, and Hyunjin can do nothing but just follow.

And again, they are standing in the middle of Jeongin's room, staring at each other and out of words. Seriously, what should he say? Should he apologize? Should he say that he missed Jeongin? Should he-

"I missed you, hyung," Jeongin breathes out, and Hyunjin feels his heartbeat quicken rapidly at his hushed words. But the only thing that makes him sad is the fact that Jeongin calls him 'hyung.' It isn't Jinnie anymore.

And it isn't even a big deal, but somehow it makes him feel like there is a wall between them.

"I missed you too."

For a moment Hyunjin is sure that he sees a small smile dancing on Jeongin's pink lips, but then it's gone so quickly that he's not so sure anymore. Hyunjin is about to open his mouth to say something, _anything_ when Jeongin sighs heavily and sits down on his bed. To the taller male's surprise, Jeongin meets his gaze with a gentle smile and pats the bed with his hand, inviting Hyunjin to come and sit with him.

And he does. Hyunjin walks over like a robot, his eyes wide and his breath caught in his throat as he sits down, so _so_ close to the younger male that it drives him crazy because he just _doesn't know_ what Jeongin wants. He used to be able to read Jeongin like an open book. But now? His second thought when he saw Jeongin was _he hasn't changed at all_ , the first one being _oh my god, it's really him._

Jeongin has changed a lot, Hyunjin sees it now. Somehow, that sparkle Jeongin had in his eyes years ago has disappeared, and Hyunjin doesn't know what to think, because he just knows that everything's not right.

"How have you been, hyung?" Jeongin asks, his voice soft and his tone friendly, almost normal, as if they were old friends and not boyfriends who were separated against their will. Then it hits Hyunjin: _Does Jeongin love him anymore? Hell, he may have found himself a boyfriend or something!_

Hyunjin feels his stomach flip at the thought, but he still forces a smile on his face. "I've been good. How about you?" Jeongin's smile falters a little, and Hyunjin automatically frowns. "Innie?"

Jeongin blinks and then he smiles again, and Hyunjin can't help but be confused. "I've been great, hyung."

"That's good."

Silence. Again.

Hyunjin curses himself about the fact that his brain can't think of anything to say to Jeongin. Jeongin, however, doesn't seem to mind. The younger gives Hyunjin a gentle smile again, his eyes not showing any sign of sadness or bitterness, and Hyunjin still doesn't know what the hell to think.

Jeongin is about so say something once the door flies open and a drunk, giggling Minho stumbles in, dragging an equally drunk Jisung with him. "Hello~"

_Oh god, can't we have even ten minutes alone?_

Hyunjin and Jeongin both raise their eyebrows at the couple, and Minho just smiles even wider. The older throws himself onto Jeongin's bed, taking Jisung along with him. "What's up guys? Why are you two hiding here? Come have some fun with usss~" Jisung asks, and Minho wiggles his eyebrows, elbowing Hyunjin on the side. "They are getting to know each other, isn't it obvious Jisungie? Ayy, my favorite cousin and our little Innie would be a perfect couple!"

Hyunjin nearly chokes on thin air, while Jeongin actually chokes, probably on his own spit. The younger starts coughing and he punches his own chest a few times.

"Aww, they're both so shy," Jisung giggles and Minho giggles too, and right now they strongly remind Hyunjin of school girls whose crushes just asked them out.

"Shush. I was tired so I came to ask Innie where I'm sleeping," Hyunjin lies, and Minho and Jisung both pout.

"Oh for fuck's sake. Act like adults," A new voice says from the door, and a blonde walks into the room with a grin. If Hyunjin remembers right, his name is Chan.

"Channie hyung~ What is it?" Minho singsongs, a tired smile on his face as he giggles for the millionth time during the past minute.

"You two should head to sleep now and leave Hyunjin and Jeongin alone. Hyunjin wants to sleep," Chan says and send the two younger males a friendly smile. Hyunjin likes him already. He sends a smile back and then Chan pulls Jisung and Minho up from the bed, out of the room. "Good night boys! Try to get some sleep if you can in this noise!"

"Good night," Jeongin and Hyunjin yell after him in unison as the door closes, drowning out Minho and Jisung's loud, protesting whines.

"You'll be sleeping on my bed," Jeongin says immediately, and Hyunjin flinches, moving his gaze to the younger who is already searching for new sheets in a closet.

"Where will you sleep?" Hyunjin asks and gets up as well.

"On the couch," Jeongin replies, his tone cold as ice, and Hyunjin flinches again. Wasn't Jeongin giving him a warm smile just a few minutes ago? What happened? Before Hyunjin knows it, Jeongin is already shoving clean bedsheets into his hands and the older quickly catches them.

"Innie wait-"

"Good night, hyung." With that, Jeongin is out of the room, leaving Hyunjin there alone, completely confused. _Something's not right._


	5. four

They don't talk at all the next morning. Jeongin is eating breakfast with a hungover Minho when Hyunjin walks down the stairs, already dressed and running his fingers through his brown hair. "Morning." 

"Good morning," Minho mumbles, rubbing his temples with his eyes closed. Jeongin just startes at his plate, not lifting his gaze when Hyunjin sits across him, and the younger can literally feel Hyunjin's eyes on him.

"So we didn't have time to talk yesterday, since you decided to be boring and go to sleep early," Minho says with a smile (which looks extremely painful), his gaze on Hyunjin.

Hyunjin doesn't reply for a while, and Jeongin looks up with his brows raised. That is a mistake. Hyunjin is staring at _him_ , and Jeongin feels his stomach flip at the look he has in his eyes. Jeongin doesn't even know what it is, but to him it looks like a mix of confusion, worry, desperation, and _love_. 

"Hey, Jinnie. Are you listening to me?" Minho says as he swings his hand in front of his cousin's eyes to catch his attention. 

Hyunjin finally looks away, a wide smile on his face. "Well. Me and Jisung planned that I will stay here for a whole month-"

"A month!?" Minho screams so loud that Jeongin is surprised that someone with a hangover can even let out a noise like that without feeling like their head is about to explode. "Oh my god, that's so amazing! But don't you have work? Or whatever you are doing in America?"

Hyunjin chuckles and he glances at Jeongin, making him flinch and lower his eyes back to his plate.

A month. One freaking month. He won't be able to handle it with Hyunjin living in the same house and sleeping in his room.

But does he still love Hyunjin?

He doesn't know, but he is certain that he _will_ fall in love again, just like he did three years ago. And hell, he doesn't want to watch Hyunjin leave like Hyunjin had to watch _him_ leave. He doesn't hear Hyunjin and Minho's conversation, the thoughts of the older male making his head spin.

He gets so quick that the chair nearly falls as he makes his way towards the stairs.

"Innie? Are you okay?" Minho asks, his voice layered with concern. "Yeah, I am. I'll go visit Minnie hyung and Felix hyung!"

"Be careful on your way to their apartment then!"

"Yes _mom_!" 

He hears Minho and Hyunjin chuckle at his reply, and Hyunjin's laugh makes his heart do things. He hurries to his own room, surprised to find all of Hyunjin's stuff neatly packed inside his bags which are next to the wall, and the bed has been made.

Back in America, Hyunjin's room was always a mess and Jeongin always nagged him about it, but Hyunjin would just grin cheekily and kiss him to shut him up and then whisper: _Let's clean together then?_ And Jeongin would always shake his head at his boyfriend but agree anyway. He could never say no to Hyunjin. 

It doesn't take long to change his clothes and hurry out of the house, towards Seungmin and Felix's apartment.

"Hey! Open up," Jeongin yells as he bangs on the door, and soon it flies open to reveal a wide-eyed Changbin. "What the heck, can't you be more careful? I thought that you will punch a hole through the door or something."

Jeongin just grins at Changbin and pushes past the older male and walks over to the couch where Seungmin and Felix are sitting, both of them smiling at him widely and waving. Jeongin flops down between them, causing Changbin to whine out in protest. "That was my place!"

"Shush, sit on Felix's lap or something," Seungmin says as he faces Jeongin. "So what the heck happened at the party yesterday?"

Jeongin freezes and stares at his best friend with wide eyes. The question also catches Felix' and Changbin's attention, the couple now staring at Jeongin too with curiosity as the oldest jumps onto his boyfriend's lap.

"What do you mean?"

"First you acted extremely weird after seeing Hyunjin. Then you disappeared for hours. And you were in a bad mood after you gave Hyunjin your room and I literally had to _stop_ you from drinking."

Felix and Changbin both gasp at that like Seungmin said something extremely shocking. (Well, to them hearing that Jeongin almost drank is the most shocking thing in the world, because apparently he is as pure as an angel.)

Jeongin literally has no idea how to explain his mood yesterday. He doesn't even know why his mood changed so suddenly. He feels bad for Hyunjin.

"Spit it out," Seungmin says and Changbin tugs on Jeongin's sleeve. "Tell us, Innie."

"I just don't like the idea of a stranger sleeping in my room?"

Seungmin lets out a groan and he leans back. "Innie come on, we're not dum-"

"Wait Innie, what the heck was that yesterday when I came to get you and Hyunjin from your room?" Felix suddenly asks, his head tilted and Jeongin would be so mad at the older for reminding him of that moment if it wasn't for the innocent smile and puppy eyes the Australian had on his face.

"What was what?" Changbin asks, and Felix just grins while Seungmin keeps hitting Jeongin's arm in excitement. "I didn't realize it yesterday, but when I think of it, I think I interrupted something yesterday."

"Jeongin!" Seungmin screams, grabbing at his arm and shaking him frantically, his eyes wide in shock. "Did you seduce Hyunjin or what? Or did Hyunjin seduce you? I mean he was hella good looking-"

"For god's sake Minnie hyung!" Jeongin yells dramatically, throwing his hands up in the air and moving away from Seungmin's grip. "There was nothing going on and nothing happened!"

"Felix what were they doing? Hyunjin didn't have our Innie pressed against a wall or have his lips attached to Innie's neck, did he-"

Jeongin groans in frustration as he feels his cheeks heat up and he hides his face. He loves his friends a fuck ton, but gosh, they never know when to give up.

"No, nothing like that! They weren’t exactly doing anything, they were just standing there and staring at each other like, very intensely-"

"Ooohhh! Love at first sight!"

"I sense some soulmate material right there-"

"I got it! They fell in love but later Hyunjin told Innie that he has a boyfriend so now they're heartbroken!"

Jeongin doesn't even try to shut his friends up anymore, he just stares helplessly as they shoot ideas and theories here and there. What kind of a mess did he get himself into now? 


	6. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeongin tells his friends about hyunjin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again~ It's finally summer break and I'll hopefully write and update a lot more now! Have fun reading~

"Okay, this movie is so stupid," Changbin says and stuffs chips into his mouth, his brows furrowed. "Why are the main characters always so dumb?"

"Shut the hell up, you suggested this movie so suffer," Seungmin says and throws a popcorn at the older, which Felix picks up from his boyfriend's lap and eats. Jeongin shakes his head at his friends, sipping on his coke.

"Yeah I know but I didn't know it was like this now, did I?" Changbin says defensively. "Your problem. Now shut up, it's getting serious," Seungmin says, his eyes glued on the TV.

Jeongin leans his head against Seungmin's shoulder, watching as the two main characters desperately try to find a place to hide from the bad guys. He lets out a soft sigh. The movie is nearly over, and honestly, he only watched it for the first five minutes before his mind wandered back to Hyunjin.

Jeongin flinches a little and moves his head backwards when he feels something on his lips to see Seungmin's fingers holding a popcorn in front of Jeongin's mouth. The younger quickly leans forward and catches the popcorn with his teeth, swallowing it in a brief second. Seungmin's arm finds it's way around his shoulders, and the older leans closer to him, his eyes still on the movie. "What's bothering you?" He asks, so quiet that only Jeongin can hear him, Felix and Changbin cuddling on the other side of the couch, both now nervously stuffing chips into their mouths, eyes wide and focused on the TV.

"What do you mean?" Jeongin whispers back, jumping a little when a loud crash comes from the TV. "You seem off. You haven't been watching the movie almost at all."

"I have."

"Then tell me the main characters' names."

"...."

"Thought so."

Jeongin opens his mouth to answer when they hear the door open, Woojin and Chan walking in.

Soon the two men enter the living room, and Jeongin smiles as he waves at them. "Hi hyungs."

"Well hello Innie- Oh my god, Seungmin, why on _earth_ does the house look like this? Have you cleaned at all!?" Woojin yelps, and Seungmin glares at his older brother. "Don't talk to me about cleaning on Saturday."

"I swear to god- Have you done anything else besides sat there and watched movies?"

"What else are we supposed to do on the weekends?" Seungmin asks, and Jeongin giggles quietly at the conversation between the Kim brothers. Felix and Changbin are too into the movie to even notice what's happening around them, while Chan is carrying his bags inside the house.

"I don't know, maybe go out and have fun? Shopping?" Woojin suggests, raising his eyebrows as Seungmin chuckles. "Hyung, you may be up for shopping for like 10 hours straight on weekends, but I'm not. That's for old people."

"Are you calling me old!?" Chan yells from the kitchen, causing both Seungmin and Jeongin to burst out laughing while Woojin just shakes his head before following Chan to the kitchen. "Fine, fine! Remember you'll do the cleaning tomorrow!"

Jeongin hears Seungmin sigh, and the younger boy giggles. "I regret life."

"So it seems."

Seungmin sticks his tongue out at him and he glances at the clock, tapping on Jeongin's shoulder. "Hey Innie, when were you planning on going home? It's pretty late and knowing Jisung and Minho they will start panicking if you don't call them soon."

Jeongin glances at the clock too, sighing softly. It's already half past eight. He bites his lip, lightly tugging at his best friend's sleeve. "Hey hyung....?"

"Yeah?" Seungmin asks, shooting a glare towards a currently screaming Felix as the Australian hides his face in Changbin's neck as the main characters are suddenly attacked.

"C-can you come over? For a night or two? Or can I stay here?"

Seungmin finally pulls away, forcing Jeongin to sit up properly and finally pulling the two lovebirds' attention away from the movie.

"Jeongin, spill," he says firmly, and Jeongin looks away. "What do you mean?"

"You're.... I don't even know. You're not Jeongin."

Jeongin, Felix and Changbin all raise their eyebrows at Seungmin in question, and the tallest groans, throwing his arms up in frustration. "You're acting weird! Please, tell us what's going on! Did something happen at Minho's party? Nobody tried to do anything to you, right? Was it that dumbass Hyunjin? I swear to god, I will break every single one of his bones-"

"No!" Jeongin cries out in panic, a sigh quickly following. "It's.... Okay, it has something to do with him," Jeongin mumbles, sinking further down into the couch and the older boys lean closer, the movie completely forgotten now. Jeongin feels tears building up in his eyes. The emotions are overwhelming. He can't believe he is really about to say it out loud. The words he and Hyunjin promised no one will ever know.

"You remember that summer a few years back.... When I was in America for two months?" Jeongin asks quietly, hoping the TV is loud enough to cover their voices and prevent Woojin and Chan from hearing them. If they knew, they would call Jisung and Jeongin knows his brother would murder Hyunjin with his own two hands with Minho's help.

All three of his friends nod, staring at the youngest in confusion and curiosity.

"I.. I met Hyunjin back then. In a clothing shop. We somehow bumped into each other and I fell and Hyunjin wanted to make it up to me and he took me out for ice cream and paid for my clothes. But.... I.... We met again the next day. And the next. And the next. And...."

Changbin's mouth falls open and he sits up properly, facing Jeongin. "Oh Innie, don't tell me-"

Jeongin sniffles and nods, quickly wiping away the tear falling from the corner of his eye. Seungmin pulls him into a hug, and Felix is completely speechless.

"Why didn't you tell us!?" Changbin suddenly snaps, definitely loud enough for Woojin and Chan to hear. Felix quickly slaps his boyfriend's shoulder and Seungmin hisses at the oldest. "Shut your mouth, Woojin and Chan will hear you!" He whisper-yells, and Changbin closes his mouth, rubbing his face. "I'm sorry."

"I didn't tell you because me and Hyunjin made a deal," he explains, his voice so small and quiet. "Nobody was supposed to know."

"Damn. But wait, did you break up in good terms or....?" Felix asks, worry and concern in his eyes.

"I- He came with me to the airport when I left. I had to tell my aunt that I wanted to go alone so we wouldn't need to say goodbye so early...."

"I'm so sorry, Innie," Seungmin says quietly, rubbing circles on Jeongin's back, and the youngest sobs quietly. "You can stay here if you want to, alright?"

Jeongin nods and lets out a small whimper as he hears more shuffling, and then he feels Felix's and Changbin's arms wrap comfortingly around him and Seungmin. 


	7. six

Jeongin sighs as he stands behind Seungmin, the older currently opening the door to Jeongin's house. They walk inside, Seungmin dragging his bags and Jeongin closes the door after them.

They were supposed to stay over at Seungmin, Felix and Woojin's apartment, but as Chan and Changbin were staying there as well, they decided to change the plan so the small apartment wouldn't become too crowded.

"Oh, hi Minnie? Are you staying over?" Minho appears from the kitchen, wearing an apron and there is powder on his nose. Seungmin and Jeongin kick off their shoes, the younger boys raising their eyebrows at him. "Yeah, Minnie hyung is staying. Are you _baking_ at this time?"

Minho sticks his tongue out at them, a smile on his lips. "Sungie and Jinnie wanted cupcakes and honestly, so did I. Sit down and I'll get you something to eat and drink, I'm guessing you just had a ton of snacks there?"

Jeongin chuckles, and Seungmin throws his arm around his best friend, grinning. "You know us so well Minho hyung."

Minho chuckles as well, walking back into the kitchen. "I've known you since you were preschoolers, is that a surprise?" Jeongin hums in response. "I guess not," he says as he drags Seungmin into the living room with him, the boys sitting down on the couch.

"Where are Jisung hyung and Hyunjin hyung?" Seungmin asks quietly. And somehow, Minho's reply comes from the kitchen, and Jeongin doesn't understand how he even heard. "They're in the backyard having a couple of beers and chatting probably.... Dammit- Jeongin dear, could you fetch Hyunjin, I need his help in the kitchen!"

Jeongin breathes in deeply as he gets up from the couch, and Seungmin gives him a pitying look. "Of course hyung!"

He makes his way to the backdoor and opens it, peeking his head out. Hyunjin and Jisung are both sitting there, having a hushed conversation. "H-Hyunjin hyung."

The both males turn around, and Jeongin freezes in confusion when he sees a cigarette between Hyunjin's lips. _Since when has Hyunjin smoked?_

"Minho hyung needs your help in the kitchen."

Jeongin quickly backs away from the door and heads towards the bathroom. He hears Hyunjin following him inside.

Hyunjin lets out a small sigh as he stares at the younger male's back. He closes the door behind him, walking towards the kitchen, keeping his eyes on Jeongin until the younger disappears into the bathroom.

He enters the kitchen with heavy steps, and Minho smiles at him. "Won't you finish this while I make Jeongin and Seungmin something to eat?" He asks, wiping his face with the back of his hand before washing his hands.

Hyunjin blinks, walking over to the sink to wash his own hands too. "I guess."

"Seungmin-ah! Fetch Ji if he didn't come inside yet! He's gonna freeze soon!" Minho yells, and Seungmin's reply comes from the living room in an instant. "Yes sir!"

It doesn’t take long before Hyunjin puts the cupcakes into the oven and Minho sets the table ready for the two youngest boys. Hyunjin watches as Seungmin and Jeongin walk into the room hand in hand, and he flinches. Seungmin doesn't even look into his direction, but Hyunjin notices him frowning slightly and giving Jeongin's hand a light squeeze.

Something clicks inside his brain. _Are they dating?_

It would explain why Seungmin was so angry at him yesterday at the party. Maybe Jeongin told Seungmin about it, and now the latter sees Hyunjin as a threat. He bites his lip, and he stares with his brows knitted together as they sit down, Seungmin whispering something to Jeongin and Jeongin giggling softly, making Seungmin smile widely. Jeongin isn't even acknowledging Hyunjin.

Hyunjin gasps slightly when he feels Minho lightly punch his arm. "What?"

"You're staring at Innie and Minnie," Minho says with his other brow raised in question. "I wasn't," Hyunjin mumbles and shakes his head, almost as if to clear his own thoughts. "Okay I was, but my brain just went blank, nothing more."

Hyunjin isn't sure if Minho believes him or not, but the older doesn't question him further, just hums and stares at him for a moment.

"This is bullshit!"

They all turn their head towards the kitchen door in confusion as Jisung walks in, staring at his phone in disbelief. "Innie, auntie just texted me. She's getting _married_ next week. She literally forgot to tell us earlier."

" _What_?" Minho asks, walking over to his husband and taking the phone from him. "Well, we'll go, right?" He asks after reading the message, giving Jisung his phone back.

"You guys can go," Jeongin says instantly as he chews on his food, everyone turning their attention towards the youngest. "It's not like auntie would want me there anyway. Or anyone else."

Hyunjin bites his lip and the others frown as well. Jisung sighs softly, and Seungmin wraps his arm around Jeongin, rubbing his arm. Hyunjin has to look away. Just three years ago Hyunjin was in Seungmin's place when Jeongin told him that story about how every single one of his relatives turned against him, except his aunt who lives in America.

"Okay. You can stay home if you want to," Jisung says, sighing deeply. "Goddamn, why does my aunt do this. We should reserve hotel rooms and everything, and I have to call my boss if I can even have the next week off. You can close the dance studio for the next week, can't you?"

Minho shakes his head. "Obviously I can't, we have a competition coming up in a few weeks, but I'll have someone cover for me- Hyunjin!"

Hyunjin blinks, staring at his cousin in question. "What?" Minho throws his arm around him, grinning widely. "You can teach my dancers, can't you? You're good at it!"

Hyunjin blinks again. "Huh- I- Minho, I'm a bad teacher!"

Minho giggles, ruffling Hyunjin's hair. "Hyunjin, they're kids. Just be nice to them and you'll do great! Besides you've made group choreographies, haven't you? You can teach one of them and they can even perform it in the competition! Come on, what do you say Jinnie?"

Hyunjin stares at the older male for a moment, sighing deeply in defeat a few seconds later, knowing Minho _will_ whine about it until he says yes. "Fine! Fine!"

Minho squeals and plants a kiss on Hyunjin's cheek, causing Jisung to frown. "Hey! Where are _my_ kisses?"

"You've gotten kisses. Shush," Minho sticks his tongue out at his husband, and Jisung grabs his arm instantly, causing Minho to scream out in panic, which turns into loud giggles and screeching when Jisung starts tickling him. "No, stop!"

"Give me my kisses and I will stop!" Jisung yells between his laughs, and Hyunjin shakes his head at the pair. He glances as Jeongin and Seungmin get up from the table with wide smiles, and for a moment his and Jeongin's eyes meet, and Hyunjin notices the guilty look flashing on the youngest male's face.

"You should take Innie's room," Hyunjin says at the two of them, causing them to halt and stare at him. Jisung and Minho are still too lost in their own world to notice the conversation.

"No, it's fine, Hyunjin hyung. We can take the couch-"

"It's too small, you'll both get a backpain."

"It's _fine_." Seungmin says, emphasizing the last word as he takes Jeongin's hand again and pulls the younger out of the kitchen. Hyunjin swallows as he stares after them, an uneasy feeling in his stomach.


	8. seven

Hyunjin stares at the ceiling, a sigh leaving his lips when he hears Jeongin and Seungmin burst into a fit of loud giggles in the kitchen. It's eight in the morning, he doesn't understand how the two can already have so much energy. What are they even doing? Eating breakfast can't be that much fun.

Knowing he won’t be falling asleep anymore, as the two boys downstairs are the reason why he woke up in the first place, he throws the cover aside and sits up, yawning loudly as he combs his hair with his fingers. He doesn't even bother putting on a shirt, he stands up from the bed and heads towards the kitchen, feeling slight annoyance build up as he hears the two boys laugh loudly once again.

When Hyunjin enters the kitchen, the younger males don't even notice him at first. Jeongin lets out a screech when Seungmin's hands find themselves at his sides, tickling him. "Stop it you demon, I'm trying to cook for you and this is how you thank me!"

"But oh, it's fun to see you struggle my baby Innie," Seungmin says, a wide grin on his face as Jeongin starts giggling at him. "You're a big meanie."

"Can you two keep it down, some people are actually trying to sleep in this house, thanks."

Jeongin and Seungmin both freeze at the voice coming from the door. They turn around to see Hyunjin glaring at them, his hands crossed over his _bare_ chest, and Jeongin blushes at the sight. But that doesn't even last for a second as the guilt builds up, finally realizing what the tall male said.

"I-I'm sorry hyung, we'll be quiet," he says quietly, and Hyunjin's gaze softens in an instant, making Jeongin blink in confusion.

"Yeah, we'll be quiet, sorry."

The cold look Hyunjin had on his face earlier returns at the speed of light after Seungmin speaks up, and he just mumbles something under his breath before disappearing from the kitchen. Jeongin bites his lip, but a loud yelp leaves his mouth as he feels Seungmin roughly punch his shoulder. "Ow! What the hell?"

Seungmin is letting out inhuman squealing sounds, and he is jumping up and down, causing to Jeongin raise his eyebrows. "Do you need to go to the bathroom or-"

"You idiot, he still likes you!" Seungmin exclaims, a wide, satisfied grin on his lips. Jeongin slaps his hand over his best friend's mouth, his eyes wide in panic as he glances into the direction where Hyunjin disappeared. "Keep your voice down, he'll hear you, you ass!" He whisper-yells. He then takes a deep breath, pulling his hand away from Seungmin. "And what do you mean?"

Seungmin finally stops moving around, and the look on his face literally screams 'are you for real'.

"Do you have a brain," Seungmin says and throws his hands up dramatically, "he's clearly jealous. And did you _see_ the look he had on his face when you talked to him? Damn, even Changbin and Felix's heart eyes for each other lose their meanings compared to _that_ -"

"Stop."

Seungmin frowns when Jeongin turns around, flipping the pancakes.

"Innie, what is it?" The older asks softly, waiting until the younger has flipped the pancakes before grabbing his shoulders and turning him around, making Jeongin face him fully.

Jeongin doesn't say anything for a while, he just stares at his best friend, and Seungmin feels his stomach twist just at how _lost_ he looks.

"I don't even know," Jeongin finally whimpers, and Seungmin frowns again. "I don't know what he's feeling. I don't even know what _I'm_ feeling. I... I simply don't _know_."

Jeongin blinks and a single tear falls from his eye, and Seungmin sighs softly, pulling the younger into a hug. "Oh Innie.... Don't worry, you'll figure this out, alright? Just take your time. You don't need to know yet. It would be impossible yet, anyway. You were in love with him and then you were separated from him against your own will. It's pretty understandable if you're feeling confused now."

Jeongin sniffles, pulling away slightly to wipe away his own tears. "But that's not it, hyung. I- I probably could have stayed if I had just had the guts to do it. My aunt would have taken me in, I know it. My whole family in Korea hates me except Jisung, nobody would have missed me."

Seungmin opens his mouth to protest, but Jeongin quickly continues, not giving him the time to speak. "But I couldn't leave all of you. You, Felix, Changbin, Jisung, Minho, Woojin and Chan.... _You guys_ are my family. I loved Hyunjin, maybe even more than I loved you guys, but I couldn't admit it. I mean, I had known him for two months. I just remember thinking: 'what if something happens? What if he isn't the man I think he is, and he breaks my heart? What if I mess up and he starts hating me? If that happens, I'll have no family with me except my aunt, and I can't bear that.' I was just so, _so_ _scared_ , hyung."

Jeongin finally starts crying, and he hugs Seungmin quickly, sobbing against his chest. Seungmin feels his own eyes tear up at the sight of his best friend since they were babies like this, looking so small, tired and lost. The last time he saw Jeongin like this was when the younger lost his parents five years ago.

"I'm so sorry, Innie. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you three years ago when all of that happened. I'm so sorry this is happening now," he murmurs, rubbing Jeongin's back soothingly while the younger keeps crying against his chest.

"Stop apologizing, it's not your fault," Jeongin mumbles, sniffling quietly as he pulls away once again. He sighs softly and shakes his head to clear his thoughts before quickly turning off the stove and placing the pancakes on two plates. Seungmin doesn't say anything, just watching him with a worried frown.

"He's leaving in the end of next month."

Seungmin blinks at the younger boys quiet words. "What?"

"Hyunjin. He's leaving on the 30th of November. If something happened between us, it would only last until then. We would have to separate again."

Seungmin sighs deeply, throwing his head back and closing his eyes, feeling frustration build up. None of this is right. Jeongin and Hyunjin neither deserved what happened three years ago.

"Innie.... I could talk to Hyunjin for you?"

Jeongin spins around, staring at his best friend with wide eyes as he shakes his head. "Please don't, I don't-"

"Relax. I won’t ask him about his current feelings, I don't know him that well so I think he wouldn't tell me anyway. I could just tell him I know about you two and maybe ask him about how he felt three years ago?"

Jeongin stares at him, disbelief in his eyes as he bites his lip. He finally nods. "Okay, hyung. I trust you...."


	9. eight

Hyunjin narrows his eyes, his gaze focused on the stars shining above him brightly. A soft sigh falls from his lips and he shivers, the cold breeze tousling his hair. He blows out a cloud of smoke, which quickly disappears with the wind.

He jumps slightly when the door opens behind him and Hyunjin turns around, coming face to face with Seungmin. He expects the younger male to glare at him or ignore him, but what he doesn't expect is the polite smile he gets from Seungmin.

"I'm leaving now, I've got work tomorrow. But I want to talk to you first, hyung."

Hyunjin blinks, dropping the cigarette to the ground and crushing it with his foot, feeling neurvousness and anxiety growing inside him. "Of course we can talk, Seungmin. What is it?"

Seungmin sets his bag to the floor and walks to stand next to Hyunjin, leaning against the railing of the patio.

"I know about you and our Innie."

Seungmin says it as a statement, there's no judgement or anger in his voice as he stares at the night sky. Hyunjin visibly flinches, staring at Seungmin in shock. "W-what? You- You know? Like.... Y-you know?"

Seungmin glances at him, amusement on his face and Hyunjin frowns. "Yes, I know. He told me today morning. Tell me, how does it feel meeting your ex-boyfriend after three years, one you're still in love with?"

Hyunjin flinches again, feeling his face heat up and he lets out an inhuman sound, causing Seungmin to lift his eyebrows in question and mimick the noise, somehow making it sound questioning.

Hyunjin swallows and he turns away from the younger, his eyes glued to the ground like it's the most interesting thing in the universe. He bites his lip. Hell, Seungmin actually intimidates him.

"I don't know. And I don't l-"

"Love him? Sure you don't, you're just trying to kill me with your gaze for what? You're an open book hyung, just like Innie is. You both think it's complicated and that you don't have feelings for each other anymore. Well here's a 'surprise', you're both still completely in love and I don't see what the problem even is in here. And just so you know, I'm Jeongin's best friend and not his boyfriend like you've been thinking for the last 24 hours."

Hyunjin just stares at Seungmin with his mouth open in shock, not knowing what to say as the words start to sink in. So Jeongin still is in love with him, after all?

"H-how do you know? Did he tell you-"

"I know him better than he knows himself. He says he doesn't know what he feels, but if he isn't in love now then he will be, sooner or later. And he knows it will happen too."

Hyunjin's mind wanders to every single time he has seen Jeongin during the last 48 hours. He doesn't know what to think. First Jeongin was shocked. Then he was happy. And now he avoids Hyunjin like plague.

"Just give him time." With that, Seungmin grabs his bag and walks away from the house, leaving Hyunjin standing there, completely confused about what he should do next.

He takes a deep breath and enters the house, kicking his shoes off and taking off his jacket.

He makes his way to the living room, and he freezes for a brief second when his eyes meet Jeongin's, the younger quickly moving his gaze back towards the TV. Hyunjin swallows and sits down on the sofa, next to Jeongin.

They sit there, in complete silence for a while, and the silence is suffocating.

"I-I think you should take your room, I don't want you to sleep on the couch for the whole month."

Jeongin whips his head to face Hyunjin, who is already staring at the younger with his brows slightly furrowed and his lower lip between his teeth.

"Hyung, it's fine. I can sleep on the couch-"

"Jeongin-"

"Hyung-"

"Fine! Then I'll change them myself." Hyunjin shoots up from the couch, grabbing the neatly folded duvet and the pillows Jeongin has been using, heading towards the stairs.

"What the- Hyung?!" Jeongin yells and plunges after him, and Hyunjin yelps, sprinting up the stairs.

Hyunjin disappears into his room, and Jeongin leans against the doorframe and crosses his arms, a smile finding it's way into his face without him noticing. He watches as Hyunjin throws his own duvet and pillows to the floor, replacing them with Jeongin's. "Jinnie, are you serious?"

Hyunjin doesn't answer, and Jeongin notices him smiling from ear to ear. "And what is so funny?"

Hyunjin sets his duvet and pillows on top of his bags, finally facing Jeongin, still smiling, and the younger feels his heart skips a beat. Finally, Hyunjin is smiling at him like he used to smile at him all the time, and now Jeongin doesn't know how to act, his cheeks heating up.

"I'm just.... You called me Jinnie," he says, his smile widening even more. Jeongin blinks, and he is sure his cheeks are as red as a tomato. "O-oh. It's- I- Sorry-"

"No! It's.... You haven't called me that in a while and I am just..... Happy." Hyunjin mumbles, his cheeks heating up too as he lowers his gaze to his own feet and scratches the back of his neck. Jeongin's mouth drops open and all that leaves his mouth is _oh_.

They stand there for a few seconds, which feels like eternity to both of them, and then Hyunjin grabs his bags and smiles at the younger quickly but nervously, walking past him, towards the stairs and into the living room, his heart racing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy hell the comeback was so good, I'm so proud of our boys <3 and the comeback stage ahhhh the choreography and their stage presence were so powerful and everything *wipes away tears*  
> Also this fic just reached 1K reads on Wattpad and ahhhh thank you so much for reading and commenting~ Honestly, your comments make my day, I love reading them <33


	10. nine

The next two days pass with long, deep stares into each other's eyes and lingering touches.

And it's too much already.

Hyunjin feels his heart skip a beat every single time Jeongin walks into the room or even looks at him, and every time they touch, even just a small brush of their fingers during the dinner, Hyunjin's heart starts racing.

It doesn't come as a surprise when his brain finally registers the fact that he is still truly, madly, deeply in love with Jeongin. He doesn't act on it, he doesn't tell anyone, he just lets the thought set in, hoping his feelings won't be left unrequited.

"Okay, be good yeah? Both of you! We expect the house to be all nice and clean once we get back," Minho says with a smile as he embraces Hyunjin first and then Jeongin, kissing the youngest's forehead. Jisung quickly hugs them both too, and Jeongin chuckles.

"Yeah, we'll take care of the house, don't worry," the youngest says with a smile. "I'll take care of the studio for you, don't worry about that either," Hyunjin quickly adds, and Minho chuckles, nodding. "I know you will."

"Ok why are you two making it sound like we are leaving for the rest of our lives, we'll be back in five days," Jisung whines dramatically, and the others burst into a fit of giggles. "Okay, we'll head to the airport now. Take care!"

Hyunjin and Jeongin stand at the door and watch as Minho and Jisung stuff their bags into the car, speeding off.

They return inside the house in silence, Hyunjin following Jeongin to the living room, his heart racing once again. He is alone. In the house. With Jeongin. He is hundred percent sure he will be dead before Minho and Jisung come back.

The first 6 hours pass nicely. First they cook dinner together. Then they eat and sit on the couch for a while, playing around with their phones in total silence, stealing quick glances from each other every once in a while.

But then. It's 9 pm, completely dark outside. Hyunjin is watching a movie from Netflix, Jeongin is in the shower. Everything suddenly goes black, the only light in the living room being the candle on the coffee table that Jeongin lit up earlier.

A high-pitched scream comes from the bathroom, and Hyunjin's eyes widen. He grabs his phone and turns on the screen to get at least some kind of light because _he can't see a damn thing._

He sprints up the stairs as fast as his legs can carry him, and that results into him almost running straight into the bathroom door. _Idiot._ He groans and rubs his forehead, leaning closer to the door. "Jeongin, are you okay in there?"

In a second, the door flies open and suddenly Jeongin is clinging to him like a koala. Hyunjin yelps, and then he realizes that Jeongin is actually _crying._

"Innie? Hey, it's okay," he says and embraces the younger male.

"It's anything but okay! It was so dark and I couldn't see anything and and and-"

"Shhhh, Innie, it's okay. Nothing to worry about, it's just a blackout. You showered already, right?" He asks, petting Jeongin's hair and slowly he realizes the fact that Jeongin is literally clinging to him like his life depends on it. Hyunjin's cheeks heat up once again.

"Y-yeah," Jeongin sniffles, and his grip on Hyunjin's shirt tightens. Hyunjin smiles, and he swears his heart is about to burst because of the younger's cuteness.

"Alright, well.... Do you want to go to sleep then?" Hyunjin asks, and Jeongin nods. "Okay."

Hyunjin walks Jeongin into the younger male's room, lighting the way with his phone screen. Hyunjin is slightly taken aback by how shocked Jeongin is. He seriously didn't remember the younger was this scared of dark.

When Jeongin is finally lying under the covers, Hyunjin pets his hair a few times, glad that the younger stopped crying.

"Good night Innie. Sleep well," he says softly, fighting the urge to plant the most loving kiss against the younger's lips, or at least his forehead. He pulls away with reluctance, only to have Jeongin's fingers locked around his wrist in a second.

"Jeongin....?"

"Can you stay for a while....? I-I don't want to be alone... I-it's so dark," he mumbles, and Hyunjin swears the younger is blushing. He takes a deep breath. "Of course, Innie," He whispers, biting his lip as he sits down on the edge of the bed. His other hand moves to Jeongin's, which is still tightly wrapped around Hyunjin's wrist. He gently holds it, intertwining his fingers with Jeongin's.

He kind of hopes he could see Jeongin's face, just to know what the younger's reaction is. Hyunjin curses himself; he is really desperate to be close to Jeongin only after four days. But then, Hyunjin feels Jeongin's hand squeezing his, and again, his heart is about to burst in his chest.

The conversation with Seungmin days ago comes into his mind, and the younger's words keep repeating in his head.

" _I know him better than he knows himself. He says he doesn't know what he feels, but if he isn't in love now then he will be, sooner or later. And he knows it will happen too_."

A soft sigh leaves Hyunjin's lips, and it immediately catches Jeongin's attention. "Hyung?"

"What, Innie?" The older asks, and the bed shifts, and Hyunjin watches Jeongin sit up on the bed, facing him. He can't see Jeongin's face, but he can tell from his voice that he is frowning. "Is something wrong?" The smaller male asks. His hand is still tightly gripping Hyunjin's.

"No. Nothing is wrong. I was just thinking about stuff," he says, trying to hide the fact that he is internally screaming the whole time.

Jeongin doesn't reply, the younger just sits and watches Hyunjin in silence. Then, his other hand find's Hyunjin's forearm, causing the older to tilt his head in confusion.

Again, Jeongin doesn't say anything, instead he lies down again, but this time he gently tugs at Hyunjin's arm.

Hyunjin blinks, feeling his cheeks heat up. "W-wait, do you want me to stay here for the night?"

"Can you?" Jeongin's voice is quiet, it's only a whisper, and Hyunjin feels the whole freaking zoo in his stomach. His heart beats way too fast, and he swallows before finally nodding. "I-I can. Of course I can."

So Jeongin scoots next to the wall, giving Hyunjin room to lay down. The bed is small, so it's a struggle to fit two people in it. After a minute of trying to find a comfortable, not-so-awkward position, they end up being face to face, Jeongin's hands between them, pressed against Hyunjin's chest and Hyunjin's arm loosely around Jeongin's waist.

The position is more than comfortable, but neither of them even dares to breathe normally. There's only one pillow on the bed, and their faces are maybe a little too close to each other.

Hyunjin can't see Jeongin's face clearly, only the outlines, but he sees the younger biting his lip, and hell, it only makes him want to kiss Jeongin even more. The urge is almost irresistible, and Hyunjin has to close his eyes to stop himself from crashing his lips against Jeongin's.

They lay awake for another hour, neither of them saying anything. Then, Hyunjin notices Jeongin's breathing becoming slow and a little heavy, and his side rises and falls in a steady rhythm. The older smiles slightly at the younger male's cuteness once again, and he can't help but stare at his face with a fond smile, even if he can't see very well.

He doesn't know how long he watches the younger's calm face before his own eyes close, and he falls asleep as well, a faint smile on his face.


	11. ten

When Jeongin wakes up, the first thing he notices is something pressed tightly against his back and the slight weight on his side. The next thing he notices is the breath fanning his hair. The third thing he notices is the fact that the lights are all turned on.

He groans slightly. He is about to turn around to see what's going on, until he feels arms wrap themselves tightly around him from behind, and a soft, content sigh coming behind him. He freezes, and yesterday evening's events flood into his mind.  _Oh my god._

He tries to move away from Hyunjin, trying to stay as calm as possible. But when he moves just a little, Hyunjin whines in protest and his grip around Jeongin tightens again, and this time his other leg is thrown over Jeongin.

Jeongin sighs and stops struggling, knowing Hyunjin won't wake up or let him go. That's something he learned three years ago.

Jeongin doesn't know how long he lies there, in Hyunjin's embrace, panicking in his head. He swears his cheeks and ears are as red as a tomato, and his heart is close to jumping out of his chest.

It's a miracle when Hyunjin suddenly speaks. The words are hushed, spoken against Jeongin's hair, and the smaller boy has a hard time hearing what the older says.

"Innie...." Hyunjin mumbles, a yawn following, before he continues. "What time is it?"

For a moment Jeongin wonder if Hyunjin is even awake or just sleeptalking, but he decides to answer, and he curses at how panicked he sounds.

"I don't know."

Hyunjin hums as a response as he clumsily pulls his other leg off of Jeongin, and then they are in silence again. And suddenly it's not awkward anymore. It's comfortable, Hyunjin's chest pressed against his back and Hyunjin's arms around him. And it's like they've gone back in time, like they're in Hyunjin's small apartment again, the evening sun shining through the curtains and painting everything in different shades of red.

"...Your hair is so soft."

Jeongin can't help the giggle that escapes him the moment Hyunjin whispers those words against his hair. The older laughs through his nose. And again, silence.

They stay like that for a moment, until Jeongin feels Hyunjin's hand move. The younger watches as the older moves his palm to rest on top of his, and he swallows loudly. Then Hyunjin's fingers lock with his, and the older gently turns Jeongin's hand, and finally the younger realizes what he's doing.

"You still have the scar," Hyunjin murmurs quietly, his lips now hovering somewhere close to Jeongin's ear.

Jeongin nods, his eyes landing on the old cut on his hand.

_"Innie! What are you doing here?" Hyunjin asks with wide eyes as he stands at the kitchen door, the younger giggling at his boyfriend's surprised reaction._

_"You gave me a spare key, remember?"_

_"Yes I know but what are you doing in my kitchen at 9pm-"_

_"I'm cooking for you. Shut up and go take a shower, you stink. I wanted to surprise you," Jeongin laughs and a soft smile spreads on Hyunjin's lips, the older_ _walking to the bathroom without protesting._

_Not even a minute passes when Hyunjin hears a loud scream from the kitchen. He has only taken off his shirt, so he quickly storms out back into the kitchen to see his boyfriend staring at his own hand in horror, blood dripping down his hand._

_"Innie! What did you do? Are you okay?" Hyunjin asks as he quickly rushes over to Jeongin and takes his hand, inspecting the wound. Jeongin whimpers in response. "I-I... My hand slipped and-"_

_"It's okay, Innie. It's okay. Let's clean it up and we'll cook together, yeah?"_

_Jeongin sniffles and nods. Hyunjin smiles widely and then he kisses Jeongin's forehead. "I love you."_

Jeongin watches quietly as Hyunjin brings his hand up and close to his lips.

"Jinnie..." Jeongin whispers, and the older murmurs again: "just once."

The red-haired boy doesn't stop Hyunjin when the older lifts himself up and leans on his other arm, leaning over Jeongin as he places the most gentle kiss on the scar.

Then Hyunjin lies back down again. He never lets go of Jeongin's hand.

"Letting you go must be the hardest thing I've ever had to do," the older whispers, his lips softly moving against the back of Jeongin's neck as the quiet words spill from his mouth, and Jeongin feels his chest tighten and his stomach flips. There are tears in his eyes, and he doesn't even need to be facing Hyunjin to know the olders's eyes are red and swollen with unshed tears as well.

"Leaving you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do," Jeongin breathes out, closing his eyes as Hyunjin's hand only grips his tighter and the older presses closer to him, almost desperately. A shaky breath leaves Hyunjin's lips, hitting Jeongin's skin.

"Why did you?" Hyunjin asks, and his voice is so small and weak. The question is innocent but to Jeongin the words are accusing and they are both lost, not knowing what went wrong three years ago, why they didn't fight for them, why they let each other go when both of them knew they shouldn't have.

"I don't know," Jeongin whimpers, being so close to just start sobbing right then and there and he bites his lip to stop himself from crying.

Hyunjin breathes out shakily again and he opens his mouth to say something, but he is interrupted by his phone ringing on the nightstand, and he sighs. Hesitantly, Hyunjin sits up and reaches for it, checking the caller ID while Jeongin buries himself deeper under the covers to hide himself and his tears from the older.

"Minho, what is it?" Hyunjin asks, his eyes filled with sadness and his voice quiet as he stares at the younger boy's small and fragile frame hiding under the covers.

" _You're awake, dammit! You better have a damn good reason to not being at the dance studio and teaching my students!_ " Minho rages. Hyunjin frowns. "Huh...?"

" _One of the students texted me asking if the practice has been canceled for today since you didn't show up! Hyunjin, you should have been there two hours ago, you dumbass!_ " The older male yells, and finally Hyunjin realizes. His eyes widen and he gets up from the bed, hurrying out of the room. "Fuck, I'm so sorry hyung, I-"

" _Don't waste your time apologizing to me and drag your ass to the studio already!_ " With that, Minho hangs up, and Hyunjin curses under his breath. The older collects his things and hurries out of the house, forgetting the boy upstairs and leaving him crying in the quiet house alone.


	12. eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAA I'm so sorry my angels, it's been like ages since I've updated hwdjfrjkdkfjejd my motivation has been gone for too long :( but I hope you enjoy reading <3 (I'm sorry, this chapter is so short shxhfb)
> 
> I also want to ask for your opinion on something. I've been thinking of turning my oneshot 'Baby, You Are All That I Adore' into a series. Every part would be a oneshot of different times and events in Hyunjin and Jeongin's relationship.  
> What do you guys think?

Jeongin tosses the tv remote to the other end of the couch with a loud sigh. Why is there nothing on the tv when he needs to get his thoughts away from Hwang Hyunjin?

It's 8pm already and it's quite dark outside. Why isn't Hyunjin home yet? Minho is usually home around 4pm. Jeongin sits up and leans against the backrest, his eyes staring out of the window.

And not even a minute passes when Jisung's car comes to sight and Hyunjin steps out after neatly parking it. Jeongin can't help the relief washing over him. Hyunjin is okay. He was just overreacting and worrying over nothing.

The front door opens and Jeongin stares as Hyunjin walks in, looking as tired as ever. The older kicks off his shoes silently and heads towards the kitchen. Jeongin frowns slightly. Hyunjin didn't even notice him.

He's just tired, why are you so dramatic now?

"Jeongin?"

Jeongin jumps slightly at the sound of Hyunjin calling his name, and he quickly pushes himself up from the couch and follows the older male.

Hyunjin is holding the fridge door open with his other hand, a frown on his face. "Haven't you cooked or eaten anything?"

Jeongin crosses his arms and looks down. "Well, no."

"Okay, I'm too tired to cook anything right now. We will order pizza," Hyunjin chuckles and closes the fridge, and Jeongin smiles at the sound of his laugh. 

A silence falls between them, and Jeongin lifts his eyes again to look at Hyunjin. Hyunjin is smiling softly and looking at him with so much adoration that Jeongin doesn’t know how to act. But he knows one thing, they need to solve whatever this thing between them is, right now. Because Jeongin won't be able to live with Hyunjin for the whole month if it's going to be just like the last few days have been. He doesn't want to feel his heart race when they are alone, waiting for something to happen only to be disappointed when nothing happens. And he can't ignore what happened this morning.

"Jinnie, we really need to talk," he breathes out and sits down at the table. Hyunjin's smile drops and the older nods, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Okay?"

Their eyes meet again for a brief second before Jeongin turns his head to look out of the window. Right now he can't look into Hyunjin's beautiful eyes, the eyes always full of stars and that gentleness Jeongin learned to love years ago.

"What are we going to do about this?"

"This?"

"Us, Hyunjin," Jeongin sighs and stands up again, facing the taller male. Hyunjin has a small frown on his face as he stares at Jeongin, completely lost. "I- I literally have no idea how to act around you and where we are going with this."

Hyunjin sighs as well and he pushes himself away from the counter, making his way to Jeongin with careful steps, almost as if he thinks that the younger will become scared and run away any second now.

"Innie," Hyunjin begins softly, his hands gently coming up to Jeongin's arms and rubbing them gently. Jeongin blushes slightly at how close they are again, but he doesn't look away from the man in front of him. The man he knows he is still in love with.

"I love you. I have loved you since the day we met, you know that. And I tried to get over you, I really did. I went out with other people because I knew I had to get over you, but I still wished you were there instead. And if you still love me and want me, I won't let you go again. I won't repeat the same mistake again," Hyunjin speaks softly, and Jeongin's legs feel weak, and his heart is racing. Every word from Hyunjin goes straight to his heart, and they're ringing in his head. A smile spreads on his lips, he can't help it. Hyunjin still loves him, Hyunjin wants the two of them back too.

"I do love you," Jeongin breathes out shakily, "But what about your life in America? You're leaving-"

"I won’t leave. Not if you still want us to happen," Hyunjin says quickly, and his grip on Jeongin tightens.

Tell me you still want me, the older's eyes are pleading him, and Jeongin knows his own eyes are screaming back: I still want you and love you.

And before both of them know it, Hyunjin pulls him closer and crashes his lips against Jeongin's. 


End file.
